Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate

I spent hours making a beautiful card for Thanksgiving, quilling leaves in warm fall colors and quilling a cornucopia spilling with pumpkins, squash, carrots, apples, grapes and corn... all made of strips of paper. I whirled and twirled the paper, and used sticky glue that made the papers stick to my fingers, and then placed all of the itty-bitty pieces on the card. Did I think to take a picture? No... darn it! But the leaves I made looked very similar to these.... and I clustered them together along the top and one side of the card. The cornucopia was in the opposite corner, with its contents spilling along the bottom of the card.

Where I found the picture

I ventured to the post office to mail the card to my brother and his wife. Since I had stupidly made the card too large for a normal envelope, I used a padded envelope I had on hand. When I arrived at the counter, I asked the PO employee if she had a "Do Not Bend" stamp (realizing I hadn't written it on the envelope in red ink). She picked up the envelope, and bent it... both ways... (yeah, lady, it does bend!) before saying that she didn't have a stamp and even if she did, it wouldn't guarantee that the envelope wouldn't be bent. Inside a voice was shouting..."don't bend it - you idiot!" On the outside I kept my cool.
The postal employee did her magic with the scale and the computer and declared, "That will be $2.10." The read-out I could see declared my piece to be a "parcel".... not a letter. I asked her when a letter became a parcel. Whereupon she picked my envelope up, bent it one way, then the other... and said, "it all depends on the size."
At this point, it is a good thing that I don't have any hormones left in my body, or I would have been screaming at the lady, "WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT DO NOT BEND?!!!" I might have been reduced to a sobbing blob on the post office floor, or other patrons may have had to restrain me as I clawed my way over the counter to throttle the postal employee.  Instead, I shut my mouth, fumed inside, and marched out of the Post Office.
I mean, really, is it so hard to understand "Do NOT bend"?!