Monday, July 8, 2013

Dog Dialogue: Top Dog

Oh, dog! 
Gypsy you are in deep doodoo.

Am not.

Are, too.

Un uh, not me.

Dreaming's gonna kill you.

Nope. I'm her favorite.

Chewing up the remote control was one thing.

I only wanted to see if I could turn the TV on. 

And ya think tearing it in pieces would work?

I didn't realize chewing it up would ruin it.
I was just tryin' to push the buttons.

Well, at least Mr. Dreamy was able to replace it.

Yeah. Right.
No biggy!

And then, you chewed up the smoke detector.

Well, it was right there.

Yeah, I know, smoke detectors aren't sposed to be 
on the floor. 

I hate the noise it makes. It serves it right. 


Just cause Dreaming is a lousy cook and burnt the
toast, making her put it on the floor so it would 
stop whining doesn't mean you can put it out
of its misery. It's a thing. Not an animal. 
And besides... it has poison in it. 

(Gypsy turns her back on Tucker, 
and sticks out her tongue)

I saw that!

I was just licking my paw....

And now, this. 
You chewed up Dreaming's
sweet grass basket. 


How was I 'spose to know it
was anything special?

It was on the table. Anything on the table
belongs to Dreaming, not you. 

You are so wrong.
Sometimes she puts my leash 
on the table. 

It belonged to Dreaming's mom.
And she's over the Rainbow Bridge now.

Well, it just smelled like stuff outside,
ya know, like sticks and stuff. 
Didn't seem special to me. 

When Dreaming gets back you better hide
'cause she'll wanna tan your hide!
You better make yourself scarce.
You better stay outta her way.
She's likely to throw you outside and
tell you to go play in the road....
or take you swimming with cement
shoes on your feet....
or feed the remains of the basket to you 
for the next week.... 
I don't think your
gonna be top dog any more.

 Mom, I'm sorry....



8 comments:

  1. Uh Oh, someone is grounded. Somehow I knew as soon as I saw that basket it was something special. SIGH

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  2. Run!!!! You still have time...runnnnnnnnn!

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  3. Those TV remotes are delicious, except the batteries are a little bitter. I haven't sampled the smoke detectors; they are still out of reach. The basket looks yummy. Hot pads are quite tasty too. Look for those in the kitchen area; they might be near the smoke detector. Bon Apetite....Vonda, who also has an insatiable appetite for all things inedible.

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  4. Very well done. I loved this, and have been there, done that...

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  5. Silly dogs. . .sorry to hear about your basket though. Maggie used to chew remotes and shoes. Now she just sticks to any pieces of paper that we leave out.
    I hope Gypsy learns not to chew non doggy stuff!

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  6. Oh, Gypsy's still a puppy ~ she'll grow out of it. But I am so sorry about all the destruction, particularly the basket. How do you explain to a dog that some things cannot be replaced?

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  7. Ugh. Today I had to put Midge in her cage to stop her from destroying the house in one of her neurotic panic attacks, and she ripped her toenails right out on the cage bars and bled all over the place. Sometimes you just can't win when it comes to dogs.

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  8. Poor Gypsy..you never can tell how she was raised. Have you tried some delicious kongs maybe with peanut butter..or huge rawhides? Or buying old remotes at garage sales:)

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