I'm not left to wait, and wonder.
but my heart does not.
I so want to be wrong about this!
Sunday morning I took a walk around the "neighborhood". I've been doing this lately, trying to get more exercise. As I crested the slight hill in front of our house I noticed a dead kitty on the road. Awww. But....wait a minute. Is that our kitty? My heart was in my throat. Between cars I made it across the road to get a closer look. I didn't really want to look. But, the cat is the right color. The face has no white. There is a bit of white on the feet. And...oh, no! The dead kitty has a clipped ear. Just like my sweet Stormy.
Before I got back to the kitty to take care of her, to bring her home and bury her, she was gone. A hawk? A coyote? The farmer across the way? Was it really my kitty?
I kept my eye out for Stormy throughout the day. She is usually very close to Malachi. She loves that horse. But I never saw her near him. But she does go off, sometimes.
Stormy is feral. If I don't surprise her she might warily hold her ground about 25' from me, but not any closer. She doesn't come out if I call her. She doesn't meow when I talk to her. Today, she wasn't in any of her usual haunts. Not under the flat bed trailer Not on the hay bales. Not snoozing in a patch of sun in the run-in. Even though she doesn't connect with me.... I am feeling an empty spot in my heart.